Pete Devine has filed his latest EUROVISION copy from the geographical centre of Europe: Liverpool and you can catch it HERE. He’s apparently been asked for his autograph so many times that he’s forced to retreat to Wales for some brief R&R before tonight’s cultural climax on the Mersey.
Residents of Lancashire Please Note: There is no Fracking scheduled for this evening – the Tectonic Plate movement that you will experience from beneath your lounge floor around 9pm will be as a result of fans from Germany showing appreciation for Lord Of The Lost.
As Selby has been kicked out of Planet Earth’s most inclusive singing competition – Mag North have now made a pact with Austria – and are asking: “Who The Hell Is Edgar?”
The running order for the Mag North Bothy Eurovision Take-Over was also confirmed overnight – with The Bobby Chainbridge Dancers opening proceedings in the paddock at 6pm, premiering their “We’ll Meet Again/Fog On The Tyne/Nothing Else Matters” contemporary mash-up.
“Guess The Nationality Of The Cheese” then gets underway for the Over 50s in the ‘Neville Chamberlain Peace-In-Our-Time’ gazebo – sponsored by Speedikleen on Hull’s Hessle Road.
At the same time, the kids can have great fun building their very own Maginot Line from straw bales, helped by Terry from Pierre-Paul-Etienne Alombert-Goget Walking Tours: ‘Oswaldtwistle’s Most Realistic History Experience’ – Trip Adviser. Please ensure that all machine gun nests are pointing away from any buildings. Or livestock.
As the evening progresses, the bonfire will be lit at approximately 9.30pm and the first complementary Napoleon Brandy Ice Lollies will be provided to any over-12s wearing an Agnetha Fältskog wig. Please Note: For insurance purposes – all wig wearers must remain at least 5 metres from both the bonfire and the (display only) Storm Shadow Cruise Missile. Many thanks to RAF Careers for supporting this event.
For those still able to stand after the results have been announced via our big screen (fashioned from a super-king-size fitted sheet by the folk at Brighouse based ‘Waste Not Want Not’ Experimental Theatre), Mik Artistik’s Ego Trip will be headlining with a rousing run through of the playlist from The Prince Of Charles Carnation last weekend.
To the strains of ‘Sweet Zadok The Priest Of The North’, our sponsored firework – a Roman Candle financed by Mackenzies Smoke House might fill the sky with light and love. Possibly.
The Silent Disco runs from midnight to 3am. Please try to keep the noise down.
A very special Survivors Breakfast will be served from 5am – but is not included in the cost of your Mag North Bothy Eurovision Take-Over ticket. Please email Marion directly if you would prefer an extra Hash-Brown in place of a Sausage.
Marion has now been fully investigated and cleared of any food-poisoning liability while Head Chef at HMP NEW HALL. She has however been advised not to travel to within 8 miles of Wakefield, for the next 10 years.
We currently have a single VIP ticket remaining – so if you’d like your Saturday night to go with a ‘Boom-Bang-A-Bang’, please contact the Editor without delay.
*Mag North are not liable for any illness or injury sustained as a result of attendance at this event.